When I met Annie Downs I loved her instantly. She's witty, charming and so very kind. As life has changed for me recently and my time has been sliced to virtually non-existent, I am bringing in some of my friends to co-labor with me in the life of singleness. I will still do some of our months. But there are so many talented people out there that are single and have amazing lives to share that I am thrilled to give them a place for their voice to be heard. Please enjoy my friend Annie this month. And check out her blog as well at annieblogs.com You will grow to love her this month as I am sure. And I am so grateful that she is a part of my community of friendships. I treasure her. You're going to too...
Quality, not quantity
When it comes to community, I am maturing [hopefully] in the worldview that quality wins over quantity. Upon arrival in Nashville tow years ago, I swept my friendship net as wide as I could. Saying yes to everyone I met led to a shallow, but full, pool of people. I don’t think that is wrong- it is important to me as a single lady to meet as many groups of people in my town as possible. But when it came time to begin going deeper, cultivating friendships and building a community in which I truly shared my heart, simplifying was necessary.
That’s hard for me. I’m a people pleaser and a good-time gal. I want to make everyone happy and I love introducing friends to each other. I’m definitely not saying that you can only have three friends and everyone else gets the cut. I love hanging out with big groups at concerts or the park or at a restaurant.
In January, MaryKatherine and I had lunch together. She’s a dear friend and I trust her voice in my life (time and honesty have gotten us here). With gentleness and truth, MK spoke to me of the importance of loving friends well and showing, with my time and actions, that my true community is my priority.
That meant simplifying and working on the quality of a few friendships and not amassing a group of friends who like me but don’t KNOW me. There is safety in numbers and I found that if I spread myself thin, no one really knew my junk.
And while I am single, if my community doesn’t know my junk, who does? If the people that God has put in my life as my family aren’t allowed into the ugly, who is?
Maybe you have one or two friends who know your junk. Maybe you have thirty. Maybe you have no one. It is time to speak honestly to God about your needs, your heart, and your desire for friendship in this season of your life.
I pray that during this month you have stepped out, in some way, and cultivated some friendships. Maybe you have met someone new or maybe you have poured more deeply into an already established friendship. Know that I am praying this verse over you, that God would set you, or solidify you, in a family.
Psalm 68:6- “God sets the lonely in families.”