Wednesday 1 on 1

How do you cultivate your friendships and what do you find most valuable in the people you choose to walk in relationship with?

I just moved to Nashville in August 08, so this is a very pertinent question for me right now.  I pretty much had to start over friendship wise, so I have been working to cultivate real relationships pretty much constantly.

I think the most important factors in cultivating relationships are time and honesty.  To make lasting friendships, you have to be willing to invest time. It doesn’t have to be serious tear-jerking conversations every day.  But just living life with folks is what makes friendships work- going on walks, hanging out at coffee shops, going out to lunch after church, helping someone paint the kitchen, or just running into friends at the mall.  Being normal together.  My friend Drew says, “earn the right to be heard”, and that is SO TRUE.  Invest on a regular basis so that when the hard times come, there is a strong foundation. And honesty. Wow. It’s a must. When the serious conversations happen, you have to be honest.

The most valuable thing I find in friends is the ability to be real and comfortable in their own skin. I absolutely adore people who are the same around every crowd and consistent in who they are.  Those are the friends I want to keep forever, because they cause me to assess whether I’m being the real me.

I think it needs to be said that the people that I am closest to and the friends who really speak into my life have a growing relationship with the Lord.  If I trust them to boss me around and know my secrets, then I need to know that we are going after the same goal- knowing God better.

I also prefer people who think I am funny.  

What has God been to you in your singleness?

This one is easy. He’s been my Only. There have been times when I was so desperately lonely, and He was the Only place to turn. When something amazing happens, He might be the Only to celebrate with me. He’s the Only one who will EVER love me completely, so I am really glad that He allowed me to build my life on His love, not anyone else’s. He really is my Best Friend, the Only friend who knows me completely, has survived my childhood, middle school, high school, college, career changes, and city transplants- and still thinks I’m funny and worth being around. 

I’m grateful for this season of singleness because I think I know God in a different way than I would have had I been married young.  I’ve had to depend on Him to answer a lot of my questions, soothe a lot of my pains, and lead me in a lot of decision-making moments.  I may want to be married [and I do!] and want to have kids [and I do!], but God is the Only one I need.

 

Comments

[hootenannie]

I am lucky enough to be a recipient of Annie Downs' friendship. She blesses me more than I can say.

So God, if you're listening, thanks for keeping her single long enough that she and I could spend our singlehood together. :)

[Stacy]

Annie IS FUNNY! I have seen her in action with the high school youth group at church. And Annie is respected, treasured, and looked up to... an inspiration to all those wonderful young adults who have been blessed to witness and admire her faithful example and her tender relationship with the Lord. Blessings!