Flying Solo

Wednesday 1 on 1 with Darren.........

How has your relationship changed over the last ten years?

 (Darren)

Like any relationship we have had our ups and downs, there are challenges we face in our marriage everyday, but I understand that if we didn’t have challenges then that would make us perfect and we all know nobody is perfect, except for God. Our relationship has changed quite a bit over the last 10 years; we got married and got pregnant 2 weeks later. This was not in our plans, but God had different plans and we count our blessings, and when I say count, I mean count, because we had 3 more children 3 years in a row. I would say that was a huge change in our relationship. We are going on 8 years of marriage and try to find quality time with each other, but it can be difficult at times.

I will say that Wendy is the most important woman in my life and I love her with all my heart. I don’t always show her but I do. God is the center of our relationship so when times are rough we depend on Him. We have many more years to go in this wonderful marriage of challenges and are prepared to handle them with love and respect for each other. Wendy is truly a Proverbs 31 woman.

7- How have you depended on the Lord in your marriage and how did you have to depend on Him in the early stages of your relationship?

Depending on God (Darren)

First off, I just want to say God is truly amazing, and has been amazing in my marriage; there is nothing He can’t do. The Bible says that without faith it is impossible to please Him. Even when we haven’t had faith to trust Him, He still steps up and helps and is always faithful to us. I love you Jesus! The bible says that what God has joined together let no man separate and His word is true. I know it is because there have been times we were ready to throw in the towel, but we knew God had a plan that He wants to see come to pass and we are excited to follow in His will.

I would have to say that Wendy has been the one depending on God most of our marriage. Early in our marriage, I made a lot of mistakes that didn’t have to be made. Let’s just say I was not putting her first in our marriage and she did at all times. I can’t recall a time where she didn’t put her needs and wants above mine and had a good attitude about it. On the other hand I had about a million extra curricular activities and I was putting those unimportant things above her. At that time I made my pregnant newlywed a little miserable. Which made her feel like she was trapped in something she could not get out of, and she got into a marriage she didn’t sign up for, due to the decisions I was making. So she has been the one standing in the gap for this marriage and I want to say Wendy thank you and I love you so much.
　

Also- we have something we do on Thursday's called Thursday Thumbprint. It is a story that shares how God has worked in the details of our life. Something specific that you knew only he could do.

Would both of y'all mind sharing a story with us?

Tuesday Tips

Other Positive steps to take to overcome Judgmentalness
Colossians 3:1-3
Seek the things of God
Galatians 6:1-3
Bear one another's burdens

A good daily habit is to find practical ways to bless the one you were previously judging or criticizing.

List all the good, praiseworthy traits, accomplishments, etc. you can find about the person(s) toward whom you find yourself being critical or judgmental. Look for opportunities to share them (a few at a time).

Pray for forgiveness when you find yourself being judgmental or critical. Then ask God to forgive the other person(s) who may have annoyed you, as you purpose to forgive them. This releases them to God so that He is able to work in their hearts more freely.

 

Got some of your favorite Tips you want to share? Email [email protected]

 

Monday Musings

     When my family found out Darren and Wendy were getting married there was a little talk to say the least. I come from the deep south. I come from a family with ghosts in its closets, but most of them have stayed there. I love them. And they know it. But truth is truth. 
    For a year Wendy and I were in a ministry program together called VLI. Everything about that girl captured my heart. Everything. Now, Darren, well Darren is another story. I was Darren’s nanny for three months when I lived with his family when I first moved to Nashville. Darren informed me on most days I couldn’t make a fried egg sandwich like his mother. (Have learned how to – trust me.) And I’ve watched that little boy become an amazing man.
    Our goal this month isn’t to have you go out and get into an interracial relationship. The goal is to open us up to the color-blind, inexhaustible love of God. That we would be people who engage with people’s hearts, not their ethnicity, or their status, but their souls. God has made us soul creations. And so much of how we relate to one another is so surface, so performance driven. 
     We can perform our way through life if we want, but in doing that we will never live the life we were created to live. May our hearts be open. Our spirits be longing for connecting with the soul of those we encounter…

Sunday Reflections

This is your time. Reflect with us about your week, your friends and what God has become to you. This is your space. Your time.

Football Snack and a Movie

 

Buffalo Chicken Wings I Recipe

 INGREDIENTS (Nutrition)

  * 1 quart vegetable oil for deep frying

  * 24 chicken wings, tips removed and wings cut in half at joint

  * 4 tablespoons butter

  * 1 tablespoon distilled white vinegar

  * 5 tablespoons hot pepper sauce

  * salt and pepper to taste

1. Heat the oil In a large skillet or deep fryer to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Deep fry chicken wings in oil until done, about 10 minutes. Remove chicken from skillet or deep fryer and drain on paper towels.

 2. Melt the butter in a large skillet. Stir in the, vinegar and hot pepper sauce. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Add cooked chicken to sauce and stir over low heat to coat. The longer the wings simmer in the sauce, the hotter they will be.

Serve warm.

 

 

 

 

In November, 1970, virtually the entire football team and coaches of Marshall University (Huntington, W.V.) die in a plane crash. That spring, led by Nate Ruffin, a player who was ill and missed the fatal flight, students rally to convince the board of governors to play the 1971 season. The college president, Don Dedman, must find a coach, who then must find players. They petition the NCAA to allow freshmen to play, and Coach Jack Lengyel motivates and leads young players at the same time that he reexamines the Lombardi creed that winning is the only thing.

 

Fridays with Ken

You know Ken, so many of us come out of religious experiences that are so “works” oriented. To the point that when we come out of them we feel like we have to be detoxed.

Why do so many religions operate by this perspective?

Scripture talks a lot about the work we are to do but we quickly forget what the motivation is suppose to be.  Any work we are to do should be an act of service to God.  Many of us work out of a need to perform or some other kind of control, missing the act of love or the reliance upon faith.  I believe that many of us fall into this trap because of lack understanding the truth or we are commitment to managing our lives.

What are the best ways for us to rid ourselves of these indoctrinations?

We need to hold on very loosely to the religious creations of man and put our energy into falling in love with Jesus.  The more I fall in love with him the more I know him and I’m transformed by him.  As I’m transformed into his likeness I experience freedom and my capacity to love expands and my desire to act grows.  My motivation moves from “I should” to “I want”.

 

Ken Edwards is a graduate of the University of Arkansas and has earned a Master of Divinity, Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Counseling and a Master of Arts in Religious Education of Southwestern Seminary. But his discernment matches his education and for me often the greater gift. He lives with his wife Janet and three children in Franklin, Tennessee. And this is him enjoying what he loves, the mountains in Wyoming. Except he's usually behind the camera. And he has been kind enough to spend Friday’s with us. What he is offering us regarding his time is a gift. I hope we will take advantage of it.

Got Question's for Ken? Email your questions to [email protected]

Thursday Thumbprint

Instead of Thumbprints this month we’re going to learn how to encounter our own souls. Because before we can encounter someone else’s soul, we first have to learn how to encounter our own. So here is our first idea.

Turn on the music. Music for so many immediately relieves stress. It’s hard to listen to your favorite Barry Manilow song or Michael Buble song and not feel instantly better. Music has an amazing way to engage the soul, calm our spirit and make us smile. Take time to enjoy it again. Find a CD, make it your own, learn all the words and then enjoy singing to the top of your lungs!

 

To share your Thumbprint moment email [email protected]

Wednesday 1 on 1 with Wendy and Darrin .............

 You have four of the most beautiful children I've ever seen. You know I'm going to steal Brooklyn one day. Have there been challenges in raising your children knowing they’re coming from an inter-racial home?

 

 

 

(Wendy)
Our children are Ronald Isaiah 7, Brandon Elijah 5, Brooklyn Elizabeth 4, and Lincoln Matthew 2. Darren and I were both raised in Christian homes. Our parents continuously reminded us to seek Christ first in all of our endeavors. We base our relationship and marriage on putting Christ first, and then we set high expectations of morals, values and integrity. We expect this in each other, our children and those God chooses to put in our life. So, we have not run into any challenges with our children. We have both agreed; concerning our children, if we are not in agreement with an issue we will not make a decision until we both get a clear answer from God and we are in agreement. Our standard is uplifting Christ in all we do.
When Isaiah started school, he looked like all the other kids. Isaiah looks like Darren. He has very fair skin, blue eyes and sandy blonde hair. In Isaiah’s class he was the only child with a parent of a different ethnic background. Well, when I met the children in his class, some of them noticed I looked different than Isaiah. Some of the children even asked Isaiah if I was his mommy. His response was priceless... "Yes, that’s my mommy. Isn’t she pretty!"
　

Have their been societal challenges that the two of you have had to overcome?

(Darren)

One Saturday afternoon, Wendy and I went to the mall looking for engagement rings. As we were leaving the mall, I saw a gothic looking white male with a shaved head, rapidly approaching us. He came up to me using profane, explicit and derogatory words including the "N" word. We both freaked out. I had to guard Wendy from getting to him because she was going to kill him, he headed back to his car to get a gun so I forced Wendy into the car. I thought he was going to hurt my future bride. Instead, he drove off and we never saw him again. That was a huge challenge. And to this day if something ever happened like that again, Wendy knows I would not leave her side. I would die for my Angel.

Tuesday Tips

Ways to pray against Judgmentalness:

Remind yourself to look at things with spiritual eyes. Trust God for unseen things and know that He is aware of what is happening with the person and circumstances. Leave the results up to Him.

In your authority in Jesus as a Christian, stand against any judgmental or critical spirit. Speak the peace and love of God upon yourself and anyone who may be the object of such an attitude.

 

Got some of your favorite Tips you would like to share? Email [email protected]

 

Monday Musings

I slipped into the back row of the church to listen to the woman up on the stage begin to speak. As she started I immediately judged her and her story just by her outward appearance. All of that changed so quickly as she began to share the intense pain of her multiple marriages, her promiscuous life and her deep soul hunger for God. Once again God allowed me to see how quickly I am to look at the outward and think I know what is on the inside.
 I was judged by people for years. I know, because they’ve told me. They saw me as one thing when my heart was something completely different. But each day…each day that I’m willing to look at how broken, desperate, and hungry I am for the complete grace of God, I’m different yet again. 
 We don’t know someone’s story. We don’t know what they’ve been through, what they’ve fought for, or what God has spoken to their hearts. May we continue to love Him well, knowing He is desiring to break up inside of us all those things that would keep us from knowing Him intimately. We’ll never be good enough. The good news is we don’t have to be.