I’ve had a huge desire. For almost twelve years now I have been actively pursuing the publishing of a non-fiction book. I wanted people to take me seriously, only to have my first published book be about a rigged beauty pageant where women tape their boobs and spray their butts. People liked my stories about crazy southern people, but no one wanted to read my stories about Jesus and how He can transform a heart and change a life.
That is until now. And do you know the crazy thing about it? It was never meant to be a book. Nope, not at all. It was simply my broken, hurting, painful thoughts, spewed out in a journal to my heavenly Father over the intense pain and the present companion that He was to me in my divorce. A journal from me to Him. Words written for no one else but us. And yet, it is those words that have brought about my first non-fiction book, set to release in January 2011, called “Flying Solo.”
Can I tell you how manytimes over the last decade I’ve thought, “this will never happen. No one will ever want to read your non-fiction. You don’t have what it takes. Give it up. Walk away.” Well, I can’t tell you, because I can’t count that high. (I’m mathematically challenged if you want to know the truth.) So, I let go. I released my desire and settled into a place of opportunity. The opportunity was fiction. I embraced it. Loved it. Gave it everything I have. And on the side, I just loved Jesus. In fact, I did more than that. I delighted in Him.
Honestly, that is what the last two and a half years of pain have produced. A beautiful delight in Jesus. And in that delight He gave me the desire of my heart. It didn’t look anything like my picture. Powerful Christian Living book with Bible Study Companion. But instead it looked like Powerful Christian Living book about a very present God in the middle of a very present pain. It looked like Jesus’s desire for me. Yet, it goes beyond any desire I could ever have. Because when we surrender our desires to Him, He is then able to conform our desires to His. And oh my, what a sweet place to be.
I’m not sure what the long desires are that you have carried. Finding a spouse maybe. Having a child. Opening a business. Paying of your debt. Losing that weight. Finally getting to a place of true healing. Releasing your past. Can I encourage you to do something for me this year. If you are going to have a New Years resolution, how about we make it “delighting ourself in Him.” Because that is where ultimate desires are brought to fruition. He has such amazing things that He desires for each of us. May this year bring about the realization of them…
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