Flying Solo

Sunday Reflections

This is your time. Reflect with us about your week, your friends and what God has become to you. This is your space. Your time.

Saturday Chocolate and A Movie

 

 

Chocolate Pie

Pie Crust

2 cups sifted all purpose flour
1 tsp. of salt
2/3 cup shortening
5-6- tbsp. cold water

mix together and roll out- fold over pie bakeware and snip off the ends.
Bend each fold into the form of the pie plate
put some fork holes into the bottom of the pie so it can breathe.
Bake at 425 degrees until cooked and slightly golden.
Remove and let cool.

Pie Filling

1 1/2 cups of granulated sugar
3 egg yolks (separate whites and keep aside for meringue)
1 can cream (evaporated milk)
1 tsp. vanilla
2 tbsp. cocoa
3 tbsp. flour (self rising)
2/3 stick butter

Cook until thickened
pour in baked pie shell.

Meringue

Take 3 egg whites that were set aside
Beat until stiff peaks
adding in 1 tsp. of cream of tartar
3 tbsp. sugar – (adding one at a time)
cap full  of vanilla

Beat until you can pull your beaters out and creates peaks stand up.

Cover pie with meringue and put in oven on broil and broil until lightly golden on peaks of meringue.

Notting Hill

We want your recipes! We want your favorite movie! And we want your pictures of dinner with freinds! Email them to [email protected]
 

 

 

Chocolate Pie

Pie Crust

2 cups sifted all purpose flour
1 tsp. of salt
2/3 cup shortening
5-6- tbsp. cold water

mix together and roll out- fold over pie bakeware and snip off the ends.
Bend each fold into the form of the pie plate
put some fork holes into the bottom of the pie so it can breathe.
Bake at 425 degrees until cooked and slightly golden.
Remove and let cool.

Pie Filling

1 1/2 cups of granulated sugar
3 egg yolks (separate whites and keep aside for meringue)
1 can cream (evaporated milk)
1 tsp. vanilla
2 tbsp. cocoa
3 tbsp. flour (self rising)
2/3 stick butter

Cook until thickened
pour in baked pie shell.

Meringue

Take 3 egg whites that were set aside
Beat until stiff peaks
adding in 1 tsp. of cream of tartar
3 tbsp. sugar – (adding one at a time)
cap full  of vanilla

Beat until you can pull your beaters out and creates peaks stand up.

Cover pie with meringue and put in oven on broil and broil until lightly golden on peaks of meringue.

Notting Hill

We want your recipes! We want your favorite movie! And we want your pictures of dinner with freinds! Email them to [email protected]
 

Fridays with Ken

Ken, many of our readers will meet someone who their hearts connect to and they desire to marry, yet we all come into relationships with some level of dysfunction. You said to me over two years ago, that “one person dysfunction attracts another person’s dysfunction.” Can you explain to our readers exactly what this means and looks like?

Yes, I call it the theory of mutual dysfunction.  What this means is that when a relationship is forming we look for the positive indicator that relationship is healthy and strong.  What we tend to ignore or just can’t see is that there are dysfunctional parts of us that are searching for the right fit.  We’re looking for all kinds of things…maybe a man is looking for a mother; a woman is looking for a savior; one person wants a mate to be detached because it reminds them of home and another person wants their mate to make all the decisions so they don’t have to think.  There are many various on the theme.

How can we know that the choices we are making in our dating relationships can lead us into healthy marriages? Especially when the divorce rate is so high and the divorce rate for second marriages is staggering.

Several years ago one of my mentors told me that any time two sinners marry it’s a mistake.  In order to have a chance at building a healthy marriage you need to start with the fact that neither one of you are healthy.  By starting in a position of humility we can rely more heavily upon Christ to guide us and we won’t be so surprised when difficulty develops.

Ken Edwards is a graduate of the University of Arkansas and has earned a Master of Divinity, Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Counseling and a Master of Arts in Religious Education of Southwestern Seminary. But his discernment matches his education and for me often the greater gift. He lives with his wife Janet and three children in Franklin, Tennessee. And this is him enjoying what he loves, the mountains in Wyoming. Except he's usually behind the camera. And he has been kind enough to spend Friday’s with us. What he is offering us regarding his time is a gift. I hope we will take advantage of it.

Got Question's for Ken? Email your questions to [email protected]

Thursday Thumbprint

A final note from this week's interviewee Michael...


I am so thankful that Denise gave me this opportunity to share my story ... I have learned that this is the best way that we can allow God to use us to help others... It has been good for me to go back and reprocess this information.  It reminds me of how far I really have come and to be thankful for the process as well as the outcome!  I am not a counselor (although I have been in a “few” sessions the last few year and a half) and I didn’t stay at a Holliday Inn Express last night...  BUT just a thought .... When was the last time you took the opportunity to share your story with someone that may need to hear what God has done in your life?  Or who’s story do you need to stop today and listen to. Learn from and make changes in your life ...

I know some of you have but I pray that the rest of you never have to experience the pain and hurt of clinical depression and/or divorce .. But I also pray that something that has been said or done by reading of my journey, God will use to make you more like His Son ...
  

I hope you have a Tony Tiger Day ..... :)


Michael

Wednesday 1 on 1 with Michael cont.....

What do you feel Divorce Care offers to people who are navigating the waters
of divorce?

The anxiety and fear that I felt when I went into the Divorce Care class for the first time was equal to that of going into that Therapy room for the first time. ... Partial because it was a the church that I grew up in and again I had to admit my failure.... All these total strangers that I was going to share my story with .. Really?? But the therapy process had prepared me for this next step, and I am glad I went through the 13 week program ... Twice! To me the biggest advantage to Divorce Care is that at least one a week for a few hours you are in a room with 15-20 people who know exactly what you are going through. Every situation is unique but the emotions and the process area typically the same path. Well meaning family and friends would tell you .. "I understand what you are going through!" ..
But with all due respect you want to tell them ... "NO YOU DON'T!"I would have been one of those people a few years ago that would not only say that but would have a tendency to judge that divorcing or divorced person and intentional or not treat them like second class citizen! But much like my perspective on depression has changed so has my perspective on those who have been or are going thought a divorce. The video series by a well rounded team of experts and the work book are great tools. They take you through all the variety of emotions and how to deal with them and the process as well as the pitfalls to moving forward. But to me the interaction between those in attendance is the key to the success of this program. Our class always started with the facilitator asking .. So what are you dealing
with, struggling with this week? At times the room was silent .. But most of the time once someone broke the ice the dialog begin to flow, and some nights in order to get through the program, discussion would have to be cut off. Without fail there was someone in the room that had been through something similar in their process and was able to offer insight and advice. It is made clear to everyone that what is discussed in that room stays in that room and it is not a place to find you next relationship. There is also a parallel program that discusses the same topics only designed for children. I would recommend this program to anyone who is going through a divorce .. Even of you have been divorced for a while.. Maybe you still have some baggage that is keeping you from moving forward, from forming new friendships or even a new relationship. Find a group in you area and get there this week! As good as this program is there were people that were dealing with such intense emotions from their divorce that once a week win Divorce Care was not going to get them the help that they needed to move forward. If you need professional counseling, DON’T WAIT !! .... Get it now.... It will be hard but you will be glad that you did.

How have you seen hearts healed through this program, including your own?

If you have been through or are currently going through a divorce you know the feeling of failure ... You know the "pit" that you live in! I remember saying so many times that there is NO WAY I can get through this, my life will never be the same! And that is true. I think I many have used this quote from TD Jakes earlier but it worth repeating.. "Divorce is like an amputation, part of you is gone and you will never be the same ,, BUT it won¹t kill you!" After completing the course twice I ask the facilitator if I could help him and several others (all who have been through the program) in helping with the Divorce Care class? And do as one of my counselors had recommended .. Turning your pain into your passion and help others! (All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following
the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort‹we get a full measure of that, too!" 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 The Message) I vividly remember the night a new class member opened up and through his tears talked about his wife leaving and taking his children and most of their earthly possessions.. He was having to live with his parents and the massive hurt was just too great and that he could not and would not ever get past that hurt!... I spoke up and told him that it was almost a year ago to the day that I walked into that class and sit down and felt just the same as he did right then! ... BUT that my story was similar to his and that I was once again a "Poster Child" for Divorce Care and that YOU WILL MAKE IT!!! I tell people often ... That the 17 months of separation and the divorce process were by far the worst months of my life!!!! .... BUT I quickly tell them they were also and continue to be the BEST months of my life... God has been there along with family and friends to renew my trust in Him and in others and to forgive me of my failures and to heal me from the loss and hurt! Ultimately become more like Him ... It is not always easy!! ... But the process has given me the faith and courage as a single man at 51 years old to literally start over, seek Him first, and trust Him then He will take care of the rest.

 

Tuesday Tips

10 top tips for a first date (and subsequent ones!)

1) Never be late (men!!) - give yourself enough time - get ready early.

2) Relax - dating should be "fun". On a first date - be easy going -a great person to hang out with. With dates, too serious too soon is a good way to put someone off!

3) Be confident! If you're not feeling 100% on your first date, behave as if you are! Don't put yourself down - have reason to be confident - you're a Christian!

4) Never make assumptions - always look for the good in the other person.

5) Make eye contact and smile! - stay alert and interested

6) Refrain from telling your date everything - save something for later!

7) Accept/give compliments - it' shows that you're confident!

8) Emphasis your similarities and avoid being dismissive of things the other person says or feels strongly about.

9) Discuss problems with someone you know well - not a first date!!

10) A fist date golden rule. . .
Do not look for things to go wrong. 

http://www.fusion101.com

Got some of your favorite Tips you want to share? Email them to [email protected]

Monday Musings

One of my favorite love stories is my friend’s Ann Platz. She is a master story-teller and one of my treasured mentors. She lost her husband John in August of last year after twenty-five years of marriage. She met him at the airport where they both were about to leave for a trip to Israel. When she saw him with a woman at the airport who she and her mother and her friend struck up a conversation she said, “God if you had a man for me, I want him to be as handsome as this one.” But Ann assumed that the lady they were talking to was his wife. When John headed off to the bedroom, the lady mentioned he was her brother and Ann knew she was going to love Israel! 
 When they boarded the plane John told her he would keep his eye on her and her mother and her friend during the trip since they weren’t traveling with a man. And keep his eye on her he did. Ann was crazy about him. He shared the story with her of his first wife and her death and how he had two things on his list that he didn’t want in a wife and that was someone who smoked or drank. Well, Ann didn’t drink but she smoked. And she knew he could never find out.
  One night on the trip she went back to her room early. Took off her clothes, ran her fingers through her hair and scratched it all over until it was sitting on her head like a cat after a cat fight. She put on her ragged old nightgown that all but had her “girls” hanging out and proceeded to get out two cigarettes. She was standing in the darkened room with a cigarette in each hand when the doorknob began to turn. She assumed it was her mother and her friend, But it wasn’t. It was John Platz. He had been given the wrong key to his room, since this was a new hotel they were in that night. 
 She saw him back-lit, by the light coming from the hallway. And she froze. Right there in all her glory, she froze. She hadn’t turned on the light, so he hoped he couldn’t see her. She said, “What are you doing in here” in a pitiful attempt at disguising her voice. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” He said. He walked back quickly after having looked up at the illuminated shadow and closed the door. She said something else and he said, “Ann is that you?” And she said, “Yes.” In the most pitiful voice imaginable. She had been busted. And not just with one cigarette but two! He apologized profusely, even having the front desk manager call her and assure her they had given John the wrong key.
 When her mother and friend returned to the room, she was a wailing heap in the bed. Her mother tried to console her and all her friend could keep saying is, “You let him see you in that nightgown!” 
 John continued to pursue her though. To the point of asking her to marry him. And two weeks before the wedding, sitting in her favorite chair with a cigarette in each hand she held them up and looked at them. She said, “I know we’ve been friends for a long time. But I’ve met a man I’m in love with more than you. But if God ever turns you into rose petals, I’ll come back and get you.” And she never had another cigarette. It was three months after their wedding that she finally asked John why he never mentioned the cigarettes to her when she knew that was one of the things he didn’t want in a spouse. He said, “When I went back to my room that night I was sick. I told God, ‘I thought she was the one.’ And He simply assured me that you were and He would handle it.” 
 And handle it He did. God has a way of writing a love story more beautiful than we ever could…are you willing to trust Him with yours?

Sunday Reflection

This is your time. Reflect with us about your week, your friends and what God has become to you. This is your space. Your time.

Fridays with Ken

Ken, we haven't talked about this yet, but when you are counseling someone how do you know when they possibly need to see a psychologist because something chemical is going on as well?

What I’m looking for is an individual’s level of functioning…are they able to think through and engage their issues with a basic level of reasoning.  If I don’t have at least a minimum of reasoning and engagement of heart then therapy is not going to help much.  A concern that I have, in our culture, is that we move so quickly to medication that we’ve tried to eliminate the value of struggle and sadness. 

For many people, especially those from legalistic religious backgrounds, admitting that you need help of any kind seems to be saying you don’t have enough faith and screams failure. How do we get past this mentality to get the help that we need?

Through out scripture we see God allowing His people to struggle.  Sometimes the struggle is a loving act of discipline at other times He allows it for their growth.  Asking God for healing is a good thing and He may grant your request but there are other times that He has something more important to give than your healing…He may want to give you wisdom or freedom.  He wants us to be in a posture of receptivity to Him.  Don’t fall prey to criticizing the gifts that God gives you.

Ken Edwards is a graduate of the University of Arkansas and has earned a Master of Divinity, Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Counseling and a Master of Arts in Religious Education of Southwestern Seminary. But his discernment matches his education and for me often the greater gift. He lives with his wife Janet and three children in Franklin, Tennessee. And this is him enjoying what he loves, the mountains in Wyoming. Except he's usually behind the camera. And he has been kind enough to spend Friday’s with us. What he is offering us regarding his time is a gift. I hope we will take advantage of it.

Got Question's for Ken? Email your questions to [email protected]

Thursday Thumbprint

This weeks best and worst Valentine memories comes from one of our early interviewees- my friend and mentor – Ann Platz

Valentine’s Day Memories

Ann Platz

The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you,
not knowing how blind that was.
Lovers do not finally meet somewhere.
They are in each other all along.
    --Rumi

Denise asked me to write this story of my best and worse Valentine Day memories for her single’s blog. Immediately my mind wandered back to my teen years receiving flowers, candy and cards from that year’s boyfriend. My teenage boyfriends did pretty well. They gave ID bracelets with their names engraved on them, other fad jewelry, or perfume. I am sure their mothers had a hand selecting these feminine gifts. These were happy years with Valentine dances, heart shaped boxes of candy and pink carnations. Ever the romantic, I was prepared to receive very thoughtful Valentine’s gifts for a lifetime.
WRONG. Somewhere in my first husband’s upbringing he just did not get the Valentine’s memo. Not at all. Nothing—no flowers, no cards and no candy…not even a token dinner out. Valentine’s Day was a non-event for him. Come to think of it, our marriage was a non-event. Now, I do not want to go back to those sad days after being healed from the hurt and rejection, so I’ll move forward to the best Valentine ever.
Seven years after my divorce a miracle happened. I met and married John Oliver Platz. I called him Moses because he delivered me out of Egypt. He was my gift from God. John was a real man. He was godly, caring, loving, protective, a provider, teacher and best friend.
A devoted husband with a great heart to love, John promised me the night before we wed that his love would heal every hurt and dry every tear I had shed. “Life with me will be a bed of roses.”
John lived up to that promise. I could write for days about John’s ability to love. But because it is Valentine’s Day, I’ll stick to that season.
As Valentine time approached each year, John would spend hours looking for just the right card. On Valentine’s Day, he would greet me carrying a magnificent bouquet of flowers from my favorite Atlanta florist. Quite an expression of love! I would gasp and he would smile.
That night at dinner he would present the “card.” Not anything ordinary for this man. He would purchase those big fancy old-fashioned cards that take the extra sized envelopes—you know the ones with all the big padded hearts and glitter. He would delight in watching me open the card and read the words aloud. He let me know the words in the card spoke from his heart. He added a personal line or two and ended it with “I will love you forever.” This was a marked difference from my former Valentine.
In 2008, we were vacationing in our mountain home when John died unexpectedly on his birthday. But in classic John Platz style, he told me goodbye right before he went to sleep. He whispered, “I do not want to leave you.”
A little stunned, I responded, “Oh, sweetheart, you know the Lord will take care of us. He always has. Look at how we met in Jerusalem and our life together has been a dream! Besides, I will always love you and you will always love me. Heaven will not separate us.”
John, teary-eyed, said it again, but this time pointing to me, “I do not want to leave YOU.”
Three hours later John slipped away from me and went to be with Jesus. He went to sleep and woke up in heaven. Imagine that!
Heartbroken, I have had to live with my memories of John. What I did not realize was that John had left a trail of love letters and those fabulous Valentine’s cards. Over the past year and a half I have found the cards everywhere.
Last Valentine’s Day, my first without John, I sat and read all the cards he had so lovingly collected. They seem to have a theme of love and devotion that only the collection could convey. I sat there with our beloved Lilly Platz, the sweetest King Charles spaniel in the world, reading John’s epistle of love. I read, cried, and tried to console myself. Feeling his love, I felt I had visited with John.
John’s words, penned within the other words, were speaking to me. REMEMBER ANN, I LOVE YOU…over and over—in every card he confirmed his love.
This Valentine’s Day Lilly and I will pull out John’s collection of love gathered and prepared for us for twenty-eight years. We’ll read and smile. Read and laugh. Read and cry. We both adored him.
Loved? Absolutely yes! John’s love will be in me forever.
Happy Valentines!

“And I will make thee beds of roses,
And a thousand fragrant posies.”
   --Christopher Marlowe--

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