Flying Solo

Thursday Thumbprint

Dave and Annie (couples)

Sometimes God’s thumbprints take the shape of people He brings into my life. I am going to introduce you to a friend of mine. It is important to me to have friends in different seasons of life, and each of these friends you will meet play a specific role in molding me into the person God wants me to be.

Meet Dave and Annie. They got married a few years ago. Dave is a musician and Annie is a pharmacist. We watch television series together. We hang out, the three of us, fairly often. We laugh. A lot. Mainly because Dave and I are hilarious. And Annie laughs.

Here’s the thing. Dave and Annie are smart. Really smart. And kind. Over time, we have built a friendship based on truth, even when it hurts. And y’all. Sometimes it hurts. There are times when they each have had to speak into my life in a way that made me cry- you know, those mad tears that burn as they go down your cheeks. But even then, Dave and Annie are a gift to me. Watching their marriage, their friendship, their good moments and their hard moments- it teaches me things. It prepares me for my own marriage someday.

I like being friends with married couples. There are a handful of couples that have opened their lives to let me in. I never mind hanging with couples - I find it better to be a third wheel than a unicycle. And once dudes get married, it’s not cool to be good friends with them individually. There are strong boundaries in friendships with couples, but there is huge advantage to having couples to hang with.

Dave just released a new album and his first single, “God Gave Me You” is an amazing song about the beauty of marriage. Check out the music video here.
[link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7M7cJ4DydQ]

Got a Thumbprint you would like to share? Email it to [email protected]

 

Wednesday 1 on 1 - "Single in the City"

"Let me introduce you to Sara Beth Turner. Sara Beth is a single Christian girl living an amazing life in New York City. I visited her in April and I saw, firsthand, how fun and fantastic her life is. I wanted to know more- I wanted to hear her thoughts on community, Christianity, singleness, and the beauty of life in New York City."

Talk about finding community. Do you think it is harder/easier/same as other cities?

I think it's all the same. Going to Mississippi was prep work for moving to NYC. Community is about being surrounded by people that love you well. The only way to find people who are willing to love you is to be willing to love others back. And you can't love people well without investing in them. Whether you're in Mississippi or New York City -- you've just got to put yourself out there. The payback far outweighs the deposit.

 

This month we are talking a lot about the importance of community. How  have you found community in NYC?

When I first moved to NYC, I only knew a handful of people -- which isn't much considering NYC has thousands of REALLY cool people. So I decided to make friends. I joined a small group (fellowship group/life group/bible study type of thing.) We met once a week. Six years later the same group still meets once a week. Gradually I met other people through work, events, dinners, etc., but when I think of my first real experience of community in NYC - I think of this group.

Tuesday Tips

Eating right and eating out

We go out to eat a lot. Since all my single buddies don’t live together, if we want to share a meal, we either cook it or go out. And honestly, we go out to eat more than we should. I personally am on a quest to eat healthy, so when I go to restaurants, I have to make some decisions to eat right. Here are a few of the things I’m doing.

1. Stay away from the bread. When the waiter brings the breadbasket, just skip it. Not necessary. Wait on the main course (you paid for it, after all) and let that fill you up.

2. Fried foods, no way. Not even an option, y’all. Go for grilled, blackened, or baked. But stay away from the fried foods.

3. Drink water. Saves money, saves calories.

4. Don’t always eat a salad. Salads are great, but I promise [speaking from experience] that you will get sick of salads pretty quick if that is always what you pick. Think about other options on the menu and ask what is healthy.

5. Balance is key. If it is your 40th birthday party, you can have a slice of cake. But if it is a Wednesday night and you and three friends are at a Mexican restaurant, don’t have nachos, have chicken fajitas. Don’t obsess. Remember the goal is to enjoy time with your friends AND eat healthy, don’t overly focus on the eating healthy part.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on eating healthy while eating out. Any great tips?

 

Do you have some favorite Tips you would like to share? Email them to [email protected]

Monday Musings

When I met Annie Downs I loved her instantly. She's witty, charming and so very kind. As life has changed for me recently and my time has been sliced to virtually non-existent, I am bringing in some of my friends to co-labor with me in the life of singleness. I will still do some of our months. But there are so many talented people out there that are single and have amazing lives to share that I am thrilled to give them a place for their voice to be heard. Please enjoy my friend Annie this month. And check out her blog as well at annieblogs.com You will grow to love her this month as I am sure. And I am so grateful that she is a part of my community of friendships. I treasure her. You're going to too...

Denise

Sets the lonely in families.

Like I said last week, there really is no magic words or potion that you can drink that will give you great friends. You can’t shake a wand and suddenly live in a thriving community that has space and love for singles as well as married and well as families with kiddos.

But you can say yes. And you must.

Because especially while we are single, we need people. Our insides grow stronger, kinder, and more genuine when other people surround us.

We have to be brave. There were times when the LAST thing I wanted to do was email someone I had met to see if we could meet for breakfast. I didn’t want to answer a phone call and agree to go bowling with a group I didn’t know. But I had to be brave.

God means for each of us to be in a loving family and if you, like me, don’t live in the same city as your biological family, you have to be brave enough to allow God to put you in one.

This is one of my favorite scriptures- Psalm 68:6 “God sets the lonely in families.”

My prayer for you today is that you would be brave in your friendships and brave in your prayers. Let God meet you there and set you in a family.

Sunday Reflections

This is your time. Reflect with us about your week, your friends and what God has become to you. This is your space. Your time.

This is your time. Reflect with us about your week, your friends and what God has become to you. This is your space. Your time.

Saturday Dinner and a Movie

Chicken Club Wrap

www.kraft.com 

1 flour tortilla (8 inch)
1 Tbsp. KRAFT Real Mayo Hot 'N Spicy Mayo Mayonnaise
1 Tbsp. OSCAR MAYER Real Bacon Bits
2 oz. (1/3 of 6-oz. pkg.) OSCAR MAYER Deli Fresh Grilled Chicken Breast Strips
1 KRAFT Deli Fresh Mild Cheddar Cheese Slice
1/2 cup chopped tomatoes
1/2 cup torn romaine lettuce

Make It!
SPREAD tortilla with mayo; sprinkle with bacon bits.
TOP with remaining ingredients; roll up.
Kraft Kitchens Tips

Substitute:
Substitute KRAFT Light Mayo Reduced Fat Mayonnaise, KRAFT Mayo Fat Free Mayonnaise Dressing, MIRACLE WHIP Light Dressing or MIRACLE WHIP FREE Dressing for the Hot 'N Spicy Mayo .

Special Extra:
Add avocado slices to tortilla filliing before rolling up.

Serving Suggestion:
Serve with cut-up fresh vegetables and your favorite fresh fruit to round out the meal.

 

Movie: Amish Grace

One is called Amish Grace and deals with the forgiving hearts of the Amish Community after a lone-gun man entered their school and killed several of their girls. The book is even better because the authors interview the mother of the gunman and that itself is worth that book.

We want your recipes, favorite movies and pictures of dinner with friends! Email them to [email protected]

Fridays with Ken

For the post-college singles, it seems the opposite sex friendships have to change. What are some appropriate friendship boundaries?

This is a complicated question and the answer would require pages.  The struggle for the post-college single is one of understanding and maturity.  Many of the folks I work with don’t have a well-developed sense of self or their sexuality.  Yet our culture places a tremendous amount of pressure on them to have it all figured out.  Opposite sex friendships are valuable but can be difficult to navigate because of the sexual tension they may feel.  The best boundaries are drawn out of love…so I encourage individuals to ask themselves the question, “Am I love my friend and loving myself?”

Why is it not okay to be best friends with someone of the opposite sex? (Or, is it okay?)

I think you can a have very close friendship with someone of the opposite sex.  However, I would recommend that your best be with someone of the same sex because they’re much more likely to understand your struggles.

 

Ken Edwards is a graduate of the University of Arkansas and has earned a Master of Divinity, Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Counseling and a Master of Arts in Religious Education of Southwestern Seminary. But his discernment matches his education and for me often the greater gift. He lives with his wife Janet and three children in Franklin, Tennessee. And this is him enjoying what he loves, the mountains in Wyoming. Except he's usually behind the camera. And he has been kind enough to spend Friday’s with us. What he is offering us regarding his time is a gift. I hope we will take advantage of it.

Got Question's for Ken? Email your questions to [email protected]

 

Thursday Thumbprint

The Jasons (the single fellas)

Sometimes God’s thumbprints take the shape of people He brings into my life. I am going to introduce you to a friend of mine. It is important to me to have friends in different seasons of life, and each of these friends you will meet play a specific role in molding me into the person God wants me to be.

Meet Jason. And Jason. I have been known to call them “My Two Dads,” though I am fairly certain they hate that. Both single (at press time at least), these boys are very important friends to me. I think guys are funny and these two guys are really funny. Jason S is a musician, an artist, and loves to sit and chat at coffee shops. Jason H is a tour manager (so he’s a bit more type A), but his servant heart puts me to shame and he loves SEC football. That’s enough for me. They both care about me, or at least lead me to believe they do, which is also enough for me. J

Last year, My Two Dads teamed up to hang beautiful lights on my back porch. It was one of those moments where I was unable to handle a situation on my own (even though I tried), so these boys stepped in and took care of it. And me. And it made a mark on my heart.

I like being friends with guys. I think dudes fill an important role in my life- strength, truth, knowledge, and safety. I love walking through my neighborhood [and I am a strong, brave girl], but at night it is just wiser to walk with a dude. These boys, and a few others, embody characteristics in what I’m looking for in a Godly husband and they remind me all the good ones aren’t gone.

And they are funny. Did I mention that? Cause they are.

Got a Thumbprint you would like to share? Email it to [email protected]

Wednesday 1 on 1 - "Single in the City"

"Let me introduce you to Sara Beth Turner. Sara Beth is a single Christian girl living an amazing life in New York City. I visited her in April and I saw, firsthand, how fun and fantastic her life is. I wanted to know more- I wanted to hear her thoughts on community, Christianity, singleness, and the beauty of life in New York City."

 

What's it like to be a single Christian girl in NYC?

Um....next question please. In all seriousness, I've been single (for the most part) for as long as I've lived in NYC. It's an incredibly fun to city to be single in - I have to say. There are always a million things to do, places to go, people to meet...just step out you're door and you'll forget you're single. Until you see the tourists from Paris kissing on the corner...

 What are the challenges you face that you think are unique to being in the city? What are some benefits?

As for the challenges & benefits of being single (or just city life in general) -- it's weird -- I never really think about it like that. I find if you focus too much on the challenges, you miss the benefits that are all
around you.

Tuesday Tips

Five tips to having a successful dinner party

A great way to spend time with your friends (without breaking the bank) is to host a small dinner party. It doesn’t have to be difficult or stressful or take up a full day of prep. For example sake, we’re going to pretend that I am having three friends over for dinner.

1. Buy wine. One bottle of red and one bottle of white. People like wine and a simple glass wine can take a average meal and make it great. If you don’t drink, that’s fine. Have the goods for making a Shirley Temple or sparkling cider.

2. Simple is best. You don’t have to make a fancy thirty-four step three course dinner. Make what you know, especially the first few times. Play it safe so that you aren’t stressed about what your friends are going to think.

3. Start on time. Be nice to your people- if you know they go to the gym after work, plan dinner at 7pm. If they are going to want to come over right after work, plan for 5:30pm. Either way, have everything ready when your friends arrive. Again, the goal is going to be as unstressed as possible.

4. Offer dessert AND fruit. You never know who is trying to eat healthy, so be kind and have strawberries, apple slices, or fruit salad along with the delicious caramel cake.

5. Check on allergies. My roommate can’t have dairy and it always means a lot to her when people check and make something that she can eat. So ask ahead of time and make sure you are cooking something everyone can eat.

Do y’all have other tips to throwing a small but successful dinner party?

Do you have some favorite Tips you would like to share? Email them to [email protected]