Our guest this month is such a special friend of mine. She was actually my interview a couple months back. Her name is Martha Wolfe, and she lives in Atlanta, Georgia, where she has a private counseling practice and is a Certified Grief Specialist. She was the founder of the counseling center at Dr. Charles Stanley’s church, and she makes me smile. She has never been married so comes to our blog this month with real experience and real knowledge and a beautiful heart. And because of that, I trust her with yours this month. Say hello to my friend, Martha…enjoy.
One of the most eye opening things in my Christian maturing process was learning about boundaries.One of the most difficult things for a co-dependant person to learn is to say “NO”. Here are some phrases that may help you in communicating some tricky situations:
PHRASES FOR HELPFUL COMMUNICATION
When Trying to Open Up a Discussion:
This is what has been said. This is how I see it. How do you see it?
When You Want the Other Person to Feel Heard:
I see where you are coming from.
I see how you might see it that way.
It’s not hard to see why you would be so frustrated.
I want you to know, I hear you!
When Injecting a Different Opinion:
Another thing to consider is…
Another possibility might be…
Here is a thought…
With a Chronic Complainer:
You are expressing a lot of areas you feel need changing.
What solutions have you considered for these areas?
Let’s both give this some more thought and prayer and set up another time to talk.
When you have heard the same complaint from a friend for months or even years, you can say, “If you are not going to do anything about (whatever), you forfeit the right to complain to me about that again.”
When You Don’t Think Your Participation is Necessary:
I am absolutely sure you will be able to work this out on your own.
I know you would like me to intervene, but I am not Willing to.
When You Feel Pressured to Say, “Yes” But Need to Say, “No”:
I am sorry but that is not going to work for me.
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